MM：万能的佛祖！佛理的精髓是什么？
如来：慈悲为怀！
MM：那寺院养武僧干什么？
如来：别人对我不慈悲为怀！
MM：那武僧打人杀人又做何解释？
如来：奶奶的！老子兄弟多、有钱、够狠！顺我者昌，逆我者亡！谁敢欺负我的兄弟我就打丫的！
MM：您……怎么如此粗俗？
如来：阿弥陀佛！咳咳……我是说：佛家广结善缘，惩恶扬善，因果报应，普渡众生！
MM：后羿！您当年为什么射日？
后羿：有人付钱
MM：为什么留下一个？
后羿：他们只付了九个的钱！
MM：为什么单单留下这个？
后羿：就是它付的钱！
这才叫外交问答：
Q: Do Chinese eat dogs?
A: Yes.We eat a lot of dogs. And cats,too. Especially on your "Thanks giving" day. Besides, turkeys are our favorite pets. We regard turkeys as human's best friends. In China only the most uneducated eat turkeys.
Q: China is becoming strong. Does your government want to take over the world?
A: Yes, absolutely. As soon as we become powerful, we will invade Iraq and Afghanistan.
Q: Why doesn't your government give Tibet back to its monks?
A: Because the monks want to help the Seminoles take back Florida.
注：Seminoles (印第安人的)塞米诺尔族
Q: Are the products made in China very cheap?
A: Yes. Were we using black slaves, the price would be even cheaper.
Q: You have 1.4 billion people. Now what do you want to do with it?
A: Find a new planet. Kill the native people there, and move in.
Q: Why you are the only kids in your family?
A: Because our parents don't fuck around.
一mm大清早下夜班回家。那时候天还蒙蒙亮四处静悄悄，忽然看见对面走过来一男的，见到mm就凶巴巴的问：你去干嘛？
mm怕是遇到歹人，不想被劫财，就说：“去借钱……”“借钱干嘛？”男子又凶巴巴的问。
mm又怕被劫色，曰：“得了性病没钱治……
今天女朋友休息,早上,不想去上班.打电话给老板请假.
大战两个回合后发现,手机通话时间00:30:52 ..
OH ,老天爷啊~~~
我倒了，国外居然把孔夫子的 食色性也
翻译成：color is a bitch...
一人宴请，劝酒。客借酒劲，语曰：“你摸你小姨子的mimi一下，我就喝一杯”。
旁边小姨子闻言大怒，扬声言与姐夫：“姐夫，你就一直摸，喝死他！”
一爱好麻将的体育老师说的.
奥运口号：“同一个世界，同一个梦想！”
请你试着倒着看一看：想摸个一筒，就是个一筒！
一老汉进城，内急却找不到厕所，于是便找一角落，掏出东西刚要方便，突然一执法人员过来说此处禁止大小便，要罚款，
老汉情急之下连忙说：我又没小便，拿出来看看都不行吗？
某人携太太赴宴，被劝酒。某不胜酒力，拒饮。主人语曰：“你要能说一句话，让夫人既生气又高兴，你可不喝这杯酒。”
某无奈，只得对LP说道：“姨妹没有你的紧”。遂得免。
如来：慈悲为怀！
MM：那寺院养武僧干什么？
如来：别人对我不慈悲为怀！
MM：那武僧打人杀人又做何解释？
如来：奶奶的！老子兄弟多、有钱、够狠！顺我者昌，逆我者亡！谁敢欺负我的兄弟我就打丫的！
MM：您……怎么如此粗俗？
如来：阿弥陀佛！咳咳……我是说：佛家广结善缘，惩恶扬善，因果报应，普渡众生！
MM：后羿！您当年为什么射日？
后羿：有人付钱
MM：为什么留下一个？
后羿：他们只付了九个的钱！
MM：为什么单单留下这个？
后羿：就是它付的钱！
这才叫外交问答：
Q: Do Chinese eat dogs?
A: Yes.We eat a lot of dogs. And cats,too. Especially on your "Thanks giving" day. Besides, turkeys are our favorite pets. We regard turkeys as human's best friends. In China only the most uneducated eat turkeys.
Q: China is becoming strong. Does your government want to take over the world?
A: Yes, absolutely. As soon as we become powerful, we will invade Iraq and Afghanistan.
Q: Why doesn't your government give Tibet back to its monks?
A: Because the monks want to help the Seminoles take back Florida.
注：Seminoles (印第安人的)塞米诺尔族
Q: Are the products made in China very cheap?
A: Yes. Were we using black slaves, the price would be even cheaper.
Q: You have 1.4 billion people. Now what do you want to do with it?
A: Find a new planet. Kill the native people there, and move in.
Q: Why you are the only kids in your family?
A: Because our parents don't fuck around.
一mm大清早下夜班回家。那时候天还蒙蒙亮四处静悄悄，忽然看见对面走过来一男的，见到mm就凶巴巴的问：你去干嘛？
mm怕是遇到歹人，不想被劫财，就说：“去借钱……”“借钱干嘛？”男子又凶巴巴的问。
mm又怕被劫色，曰：“得了性病没钱治……
今天女朋友休息,早上,不想去上班.打电话给老板请假.
大战两个回合后发现,手机通话时间00:30:52 ..
OH ,老天爷啊~~~
我倒了，国外居然把孔夫子的 食色性也
翻译成：color is a bitch...
一人宴请，劝酒。客借酒劲，语曰：“你摸你小姨子的mimi一下，我就喝一杯”。
旁边小姨子闻言大怒，扬声言与姐夫：“姐夫，你就一直摸，喝死他！”
一爱好麻将的体育老师说的.
奥运口号：“同一个世界，同一个梦想！”
请你试着倒着看一看：想摸个一筒，就是个一筒！
一老汉进城，内急却找不到厕所，于是便找一角落，掏出东西刚要方便，突然一执法人员过来说此处禁止大小便，要罚款，
老汉情急之下连忙说：我又没小便，拿出来看看都不行吗？
某人携太太赴宴，被劝酒。某不胜酒力，拒饮。主人语曰：“你要能说一句话，让夫人既生气又高兴，你可不喝这杯酒。”
某无奈，只得对LP说道：“姨妹没有你的紧”。遂得免。
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